Where is the hickey?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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