Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My vagina is officially offended.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
