Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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