Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
