is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
