Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
