Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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