I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
