You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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