they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
