she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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