All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
