Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
