The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize