i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
