I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
