Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
