Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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