So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
