i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
