sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
