i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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