people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize