Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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