I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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