We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Houston, we have a squirter
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
