I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
