i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize