At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize