If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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