its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
