I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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