I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
