Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this is an emotional support booty call
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize