Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
