if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
