I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
