I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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