Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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