It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
