She went from zero to smokin in five shots
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
At least life still wants to fuck me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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