Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
