she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
