Who wears a wallet chain?!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
