You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
