just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
