i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
