Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
