What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
