Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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