i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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