You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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