Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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