Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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