Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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