hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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