I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I lost the right to judge tonight
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
