It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
