Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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