I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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