so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
