forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
