I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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