i would punch a child for taco bell
time to smoke my breakfast
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
