I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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