is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
