How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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