on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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