Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
