she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
