So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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