i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
