and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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