My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I love you.
Bad choice
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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