Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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