She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
