her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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