I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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