I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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