I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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