If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
