I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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