This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
