the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
