If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
