So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
one might say we're banned from that church
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My feet surprised me
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