talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
