I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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